An Open Letter to My Nephew

An Open Letter to My Nephew,

As a single guy, I have found that most women don’t want to cook for me, or almost anyone else. Times have changed from the 1960’s, when I was born. A woman’s ability to cook is no longer a requirement. These days, any woman’s desire to cook for a man is now in direct proportion to how good looking he is. Okay, that is old news for my generation. For you boys who have not figured it out yet,-you are not as good looking as the mirror tells you.

You can tell how good looking you are by how willing a woman is willing to cook for you, or clean for you, or do your taxes. If you think love will help you out, think again. She can be in love with and still think you are ugly. She will find a reason not to cook for you. I have no clue as to the mental gymnastics involved in that. If am in love with a woman, she becomes physically beautiful no matter what she looks like. You will figure what I am talking about after a few breakups.

What this means for the majority of us, at least in America, is that we need to adapt to this situation. Seriously , you need to cook for yourself, unless you are really good looking. Those guys don’t even have to be intelligent, or charming, or whatever. This letter will not be of any use to them. Of course, they probably won’t be reading anyway.

In my experience, the key for a single guy is to cook base meal to last one week. What I mean by a base meal is something that can be combined with other ingredients to form a full meal. For example, I like to cook 3 cups of rice. I then sauté onions, shelled soy beans, and bell peppers. I mix them together and can stretch that out for a week, more or less. (I do sometimes eat out.) Later, I can add meat or seafood when I prepare week day diners. Your granddad likes to add V8 juice into the mix and create a soup.

I find that the following items are indispensible: a cast iron frying pan, rice cooker, crockpot, a Forman grill, plastic containers and a stove. As you learn to cook you will add to the list those items you find necessary. And please don’t say you will just grill. You cannot grill every day. The weather and time just will not permit that. I have much more to say about cooking; but, I am afraid that I have exhausted most of my knowledge of women.

The answer to your last question: Don’t expect a woman to actually understand you. She may think she does. It just will not happen. That is why talking to your future girlfriend is important. Just don’t date a woman who refuses to try to understand you. Trust me, she will not listen to anything you say.

Yours Truly,

Uncle Carl